trying too hard makes me crumble at the end

Lately, I'm not doing very well. Honestly. I think you could tell straight in the face, because somehow all my smile is all not real and I'm serious about this. Deeply inside of me, I'm feeling all kinds of emotions, of course, those negative ones. I feel lost, maybe because I just had to let go of something important that I held on to for rather quite long. It was a struggling in the inside of me, it's quite tough. But yes, it will pass by sooner or later. It's all just a matter of time, well times heals. Right? Or maybe, "Time doesn't heal, it's what you DO with the time that does." So what am I supposed to do? I have tried all means to get over and MOVE ON. But it all comes back to haunt me(okay, exaggerating but you get me) now and then.

Wished we could retain only memories that we wanted, 

and discard the rest, permanently.

It's not that I want to rant all these emotional thoughts here, but I just needed a place to express my thoughts. So, don't ask me if I'm alright. And no point apologising sometimes, the word "SORRY" has been overused and has lost its significance. Used so commonly that it has became an excuse to avoid your mistakes or even an awkward conversations you want to run away from.

All these things that happened recently made me selfish, I really hate myself now.

Random but,

Life's short, paddle hard.

vexatious ∞