appreciate what you have.

I really love this picture :) despite swollen eyes x:

Sometimes many things won't go the way you want them to be. Nothing can be controlled in your hands, absolutely nothing. 

Today was quite a productive day, I thought a lot too. Not because of setbacks yesterday of course. I am over and done with yesterday's scolding and I am definitely going to prove her wrong that I am not as bad as she expected. I definitely can make you open your eyes big to judge for yourself and stop picking on those people you dislike. I am thinking about it again, I shall just stop here. Back to the point, today I had a good thought about what I wanted in life. But I couldn't get a answer for myself, but as for now, I really need to buck up on my studies first. I think I have lived in self-denial for long enough, it's time to wake up. 253 for PSLE was not by chance, it was my efforts. I have to go back to those standards. Being too normal is boring.

fuuu you .

Things are getting worse since the start of school . Everyday's a bad and tiring day , having not enough sleep at all . Sometimes , I really have no idea why I had that courage that take up that role . Well maybe , I was over-confident that I will be able to do well . That was my best effort , but why is it that you screamed at me and embarrassed me in front of all the others . Saying that I suck more than them , what do you want from em then ? My life ? Come on , take it if you mean it . No point trying to give me fake comforts just to make yourself feel less mean . Well , I don't care if you would see this but yes , I do have a lot of thoughts that I kept in me . I don't want to ruin your mood , like you've always did to mine . I know how horrible it feels , yes I do . I care about how others feel , I compromise to their own feelings and needs . You said that I shouldn't ? But I will not change that part of me . God told me to love all His people , but sometimes I find it hard when it comes to you . You you you . You make feel like I'm nothing and now I'm demoralised . Is this the ending you want ? Maybe you just want to find a perfect and nice on the outside excuse to remove me from that role . If you want to remove me , have that courage to say it in my face . Don't stab me all over just to get things done . That's plain stupid , like what you say about me . I'm stupid , I suck . If you're better , you do it . Get things done the way you want . I will shut up and walk away .

Sometimes , I feel so scared to lose friends that now , I would be paranoid over a small change in seating arrangement . I pray that everything will turn out alright .
Every friend that I used to be close me , have turn away from me .

Look at my swollen eyes . 

Guess my mood , I'm wearing black from top to toe .

What has been done , is done .

undone homework .

Gosh , I'm still not done with my homework . I'm left with 2 chinese book reviews , one chinese letter writing , two chinese magazines and an english speech writing . I'm so screwed . Wasted 3 hours on an English poster , how nice is that .

Just went to take my I/C photograph , the photographer was like must take a nice picture because it will last and stay with you until 30 years old . He took several shots and ask me to open smile and show my teeth . And obviously , I haven't done it so I didn't know how to . Wore my favourite blue shirt to take the photograph (y)

nice ? :)

title ~

inside !

yeah , my photo :3

history repeats .

I'm indulged in deceiving myself that it was all real . Well , maybe I guess .

I've got nothing to do today , well other than irritating homeworks . Asdfghjkl . I am super tired , I slept for like 1plus yesterday ? It was early but I woke up at like 9am . My brother was blasting music outside my room , I was so agitated that I had a bad mood in the morning . Ignoring everyone who talks to me . That's me , immersing myself in something else that is far better . Deceiving and self-comfort is my style , at least it makes me feel better . Nothing much to say , I'm going off to do my holiday homework if not I will receive tonnes of green forms .

Shall start highlighting all the words of the colours from now on .

Pictures from Winnie's Ipod:

-loves-

First you say you won't, then you say you will.

now what ? I don't know what you want .

uss .

Went to Universal Studios to celebrate Fathers' Day . It was a really horrible day , when your leg muscles fail you and leaves you screaming when climbing up and down the stairs . Getting accused by your own mother for stealing her money and how she threatens you to own up by saying that she wants to send you to the police station . Obviously , I didn't . I feel like telling her : ''Hey , Christians don't steal . Maybe you lost your money and simply wants to push the blame to someone else .'' And of course , I didn't say that . I won't be typing this if I said that to her , that's like sending myself into deep trouble . I have no idea how I have survived in this kind of life since I was young , maybe I am strong . Or probably , I'm numb to such things . Praying for a day that there would be a change in atmosphere in my family , one day , it will . 

Going from one roller rides to another , seeing how my mother worries for my brother . What about me ? I am invisible . I know . He is with me , I'm thankful for that . With Him , nothing would be possible . Living in my family , can you stand it ? Even asking for permission to pierce my ears , she screams at you in the public transport . How nice is that . 

Too tired to give you a summary for USS , the rides were thrilling but my heart was dead when I took those rides . So , I guess I couldn't feel anything . Nothing at all . I don't want such horrible family outings again . This type of feeling is way too bad that you could describe in words .

Don't bother to ask if I'm okay . I am alright .

took the red track one !

my eyes <3

$11 lunch . -expensive-

too cute :*

I'm going to run right after my leg muscles heal . 

Too long never run already .

homerun :)

Shared my testimony today at HOMERUN . But , I didn't know whether it would be something that could impact others but I felt that it was my own encounter with God and I have nothing to be embarrassed or afraid about . I cried , but I felt that it was something so dear to me . 
And definitely , it meant so much to me . 

It was something new , a great start .

www ;)

Woke up early today to meet up with Winnie , Chelsea & Andre at Pasir Ris MRT ! We were heading to Wild Wild Wet for batch outing :) Though it was a really long day and very few people could come , we still had fun screaming and nua-ing together x) We spent most of our time at the Shiok River floating around doing nothing and talk ! All of us were quite suntanned especially Andre . HAHAH . I shall not elaborate . I'm really red and my skin feels like it's burning , so lesson learnt : Putting sunblock does not make any difference . I am still really R . E . D . Quite exhausted now , whole day out !

Time discovers truth.

Homerun's TOMORROW ! ~

too tired to think of a title to put here .

see the world from another point of view :)

I find this picture of nice and meaningful :) ' See the world from another point of view ' . Maybe you interpret  the picture in another way but that's what I think , yupp :) I finally did homework today ! I did all the E-Math worksheets and Bio as well . Yeah man , I was forced to do homework because my laptop was sent for repair for a few hours HAHAH . Some programme corruption or something . But yeah , I should stop procrastinating and start doing my homework, if not I'll end up having to do all the work at the last minute . And , that will seriously suck like asdfghjkl .

I have nothing much to do during this holiday , so I kept eating non-stop . As expected , my weight increased to 51 kg . THATS LIKE OMG . So , I shall eat healthy now ! I have to control myself from munching on chocolates, oreos and ice-cream already . Unfortunately , my house has lots of them . SNACKS SNACKS SNACKS . All those food that can me addicted to it , and then accumulate in my body as fats . Stubborn fats . Hahah , I sounded like a weirdo , but who cares . I want to go back to my weight last year ? 48 kg only . I don't want to continue to be at the 50 kg category , it sucks like shyt . Don't say that I'm crazy about losing weight because I am not . I can't fit in a lot of shorts already , and that's obviously a big sign that I am putting lots of weight . I survived today only on 3 meals :) No snacks at all ! I guess it's a good start ? Yeah hopefully , this will last .

chio pants ;3 

probably the best home clothes I have .

Yeah , I'm getting irritated by my long side fringe . Should I cut bangs ? I don't know if I should . Firstly , it's super difficult to freaking maintain . Gosh , and I feel like piercing my ears because I don't want to waste the earrings that my friends bought for me ! #sittingonthefence

bangs ? or not ?

4 more days ! ~

spammed pictures ~

love the effects !

<3 

fringe ish getting way too loong ~