Won't even start.

Won't ever start by David Choi

What happened after last summer
When we broke up in september
I haven't seen you feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts but I always get by

I still got a piece of you under my skin
Its always there no matter where I've been

So if ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Cause if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that'll break my heart
So I won't even start
No I won't even start

I wish you love I wish it true
That's the best I can do for you
Cause you'll probably find love in someone new
I have to let go yea it's hard to do

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know it'll come in like the night

So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Cause if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that'll break my heart
So I won't even start
No I won't even start

I'll be ok
I'll be ok
O that's what I'll say

So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Cause if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that'll break my heart
So I won't even start
Oh I won't even start
No I won't even start


This song is just nice (:

#z5rm

Okay, I shall update on what happened yesterday. I had a study date with Winnie at Simei (that's the only place I could go to), I did only 4 pages of Amath and we ended up talking about so many random things and slacked. Oh, we finished a whole box of oreos. Junk food. Afterward, Norman and Chelsea came to join us for dinner. Went to KFC, and yes I ate junk food again. Now I know why I freaking gained 1kg. #troll. Dinner was good until I saw someone, but it's the past so yeah. Laughed like mad during dinner because Norman was just so so joke that I can't even. HAHAH.

Today was.... ZONE 5 RUNNING MAN! It was fun I guess, although I felt lonely here and there but I enjoyed the short dinner with Fred, Adrain and Isaac. And, Fred is scared of dogs! So unexpected!! 

That's all. 

∞

ptc.

Went for PTC yesterday, Peng Lao Shi talked to my mother for quite long and he suggested that I should get myself a good tutor to improve on my results. And yes, now I finally realise and know that I really did very badly. Although my overall percentage improved by a pathetic 2+% but my L1R5 is a total disgrace. I didn't get any scoldings this time round and it made me feel worse. Are they too disappointed to say anything? Or simply just not care about me anymore? Because I did badly. Amath, I did so many practices that I could cry already but where are the results of my hard work? I wonder what went wrong in between previously, but now I found what is wrong. I wasted too much time on people that are not worth my time at all, but now,  I know where I'm heading/ I want to be a missionary or even a social worker, but before I reach out to others I have buck up on my personal performance.

STC.

STC ended yesterday, it was better than expected although there were some problems here and there because I totally was not in the mood for camp. I enjoyed the camp only on the last night of STC which is way too late already. Somehow, it was good but I'm glad it's over too. Jetty Jump and IRC was great, that was something that I really enjoyed and I am certainly looking forward to HRC. It would be even more exciting, I suppose.

Signed the overall mark sheet today, my results were slightly better than expected I guess, I thought I would get L1R5 above 25 but, I got 19. I could have done a lot better but something was affecting me way too much during that period of time. So maybe that could be used as my excuse for not doing well? But now, everything's alright now. I managed to put it down and I should lead a life that is edifying. I have strayed away too much, way too much. I should have listened and I wouldn't had gone through so much unhappiness.

Hope that you can continue with your life without feeling a single bit of guilt. If you could do that, I salute you. You're one of a kind, a negative one. That's.. of course.

(without the words in bracket)

there's no title

need strength.

Monday, school again. Mini Olympics was a total waste of time and today was a bad day. Not that I like to whine and complain about insignificant matters again but, after today I realised how unimportant I was, I feel as if I am just someone who is treated like a plan B, only looking for me when you have nothing to hang out with. Put it in simple terms, I am just a loner that no one would care, oh maybe when I am gone, forever. That was just me exaggerating, but it's quite true, isn't it?

Don't think that you know who I am, because I can tell you that I don't show the true side of me. I don't ever show my real and true feelings to anyone, unless you're really important to me. For now, no one has gained that trust that I could reciprocate yet.

I just bought pants again, when I went out with Chelsea and Winnie to Far East today. It was a fun but really tiring day, because I just have no mood. No one realised? And, now you know. Sometimes I wonder why I have always been so sensitive and know when someone isn't feeling alright, but no one would ever sense how I'm feeling. Are my feelings so hard to tell? Or read? 

A disclaimer, I'm not referring to anyone in my post, it's just generalising my feelings and deep thoughts. I am better now already.

"Can you be honest and tell me what's happening? I don't want things to hang halfway and you expect me to find out all for myself. Is there a problem? Tell me, would you?"

Something better is going to come, I can't wait.
Revival in AHS, it's coming.

update on 12.10.12

I have nothing better to do now, so I shall just update about what happened yesterday. Met Winnie for lunch at Subway to discuss about outreach matters and then later Chelsea came to join us to buy food for barbecue at night. After that, supposedly we were going to East Coast for cycling but in the end we ended up sitting at some corner in McDonald for ages. Andre came to join us afterwards, then we went to collect his IC photo afterwards. He took a lot of shots because the photographer said that his eyes were too small. e.p.i.c. much. Serve him right for laughing at me for being short. Went to his house afterwards to get DVD, totally embarrassed myself on the way there. HE HAS A TREADMILL AT HOME ASDFGHJKL. I wished that was mine, although my house will be too small to even have one.

Here comes the night, went to Andy's condominium to have barbecue. It was fun, I guess. Although personality felt that it was really awkward as we only had 7 people including myself there, but the food was great, yeah. Marshmallows were just too sweet to handle, sugar rush. Had a great laugh because of a sentence Winnie said, it was just too hilarious.

Last night, was quite bad. Reading it over and over again.

oh please, come on.

97s yesterday (:

today (; 

Sometimes, I really don't know what to feel anymore. 

Numb? Apparently yes. 

Stepping all over me, again and again.

I'm better now, thankfully. Thank God for these friends.

perfume. curfew.

Ohyeah, EOYs is finally over. But, just somehow, I have no idea what I should feel. Happy? Or should I be disappointed because I found out about the truth? Forget it, I still have to go on with life as per normal. Went out to shop with Chelsea today (: Wanted to go Far East but we ended up at H&M because we lost our way. And, we're too embarrassed by the fact that we do not know the way so we didn't ask for any directions. Silly much, haha. So, and then we head to bugis instead. Met 97 batch there by chance as we did not plan to go out with them but since we met, yeah we went around with them! Lots of new faces, Vivian, Norman, Benjamin in 97s. Awkward glance were exchanged, but things got better after dinner and all (; They are a bunch of fabulous friends. Although I got teased by everyone as I was the shortest among all. Had a great laugh about that, so yeah. I feel broke now, okay actually not HAHAH. I spent less than $30 today! (y) Love my buys and a great day today!  

my buys ~

now I know the truth, thanks.

oh?

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE INFINITY SYMBOL. BOOHOO. Yeah, I know I am supposed to be studying. I will, but just later. I need a break and cool down from the unhappiness in the morning. I was too sensitive.

I thought to myself, nothing lasts forever, God answered: 'I will.'
Thank you God, for everything.

5 more days to end of exams, will everything be better after exams?
I really hope so :) I need to free from notes and more notes.

Short update, yeah. Good luck people, for eoys.
∞

eoys.

It was been quite a long time since I touched my computer and I shall update about my life since my blog's really super dead. 3 papers down, SS AMATH & CHEM. I screwed up all 3 papers, I guess I'm too stressed and all. Mind blanks out every now and then, I have no idea what I am doing. I did revise, I prepared even more than MYEs. But why? Am I just destined to go for night study and the extended ALPS session. Ohgosh, what a horror when I think about this. Is ain't gonna happen yah? I wonder. /fingercrossed/

^ Are those words vibrating or is it just me...

"我的悲伤是如此低调", 

does anyone ever understand?