"Because love decays."

Racial Harmony Day on Friday :) After school was Tales of the Dark(Part 1) with Chelsea and Shu Fen hehe. Today was probably one of my worst days in school, I have no idea what I was feeling. Seeing some unpleasant things first thing in the morning which made me ponder, so all those promises were just empty ones again? How can someone actually make all those promises and not keep to it? You have no idea how many chances I'm giving over and over again. But, this time round I'm giving one more chance, absolutely the last one.

"People take all their lives to search for happiness". So, I'm one of them too? Happiness not only on the relationship aspect, but just being happy with life. I can't seem to find it though, sometimes I even wonder if I could sleep forever and not wake up anymore. Then I don't have to bear anything else, it's a little to much to handle. I kinda sat down to reflect on my life, I realised I've been living my life for others, for expectations and responsibilities. Have you ever wondered why we have to be bounded by so many things? Can't we just live alone and not care about anything.

Recently, I stopped being a cheerful and "fun" person, or one that would socialise. That's not me, I've been forced to be that way, right from the start I'm always the quiet and sorrowful person, always a little self-absorbed in my thoughts. But, I prefer it that way. I stopped smiling, stopped talking and the whole world comes along to ask if I was feeling alright. I can say now, YES YES YES. That's me, I don't have to smile just to show that I'm feeling fine. Because I'm perfectly alright.

Oh yes, I finally realised what was my weak spot yesterday, it's probably my past. People are made strong by their past, but maybe it's the reverse effect for me. I constantly think that I'm not good enough, which is really true. Treated always like the backup plan, when they have no one else, they turn to me. How does that feel? Being at the second place makes you the first loser, how true is that. Right. Everyone wants to feel wanted, but maybe I don't anymore. I just want to have a little time for myself this time round, so leave me alone.

so much love for this picture :)

Everything comes to an end. Love decays, too. It's about time to let go.