You better move, you better dance.

Timber #nowplaying

Pondered about so many things yesterday, friends and semester 1.2. All the nightmares are coming back to haunt me again, tests after tests, marks after marks, everyone starts to compete with you. I really dislike telling my marks out because of past incidents, I don't like the feeling of being inferior or being superior. Both really sucks big time. If I do tell, you're considered a friend to me.

Timber is repeatedly played on my phone playlist, this song brings out so many memories. Let me recount about TP Orientation 2014, stepping into this school was one of my biggest daylight nightmares. The unfamiliarity of the place, the people and the culture. Polytechnic is a place rumoured to have lots of backstabbers and all, but you know what, the wishful  thinking of mine convinced me that everyone would be worth my trust.

Made my first few (girl) friends in TP just on the first day of school, but at that point of time it was the environment which forced me to have someone to accompany me. I was afraid to be alone, yes really fearful of that feeling. As time went by, the unfamiliarity evolved to a form of trust and dependability. But now, maybe it's time to stop depending and start living on my own. You never know if your trust will be ideal, 到最后只是一个未知数的筹码。

RPP was a turning point, too. Met two other friends of mine currently, and then, somehow the lunch gang initially turned into some sort of a clique. And after several incidents, two more joined in. Was all these some sort of fate or coincidence? I still have yet to find out but I still want to trust. Just a wishful trust. Whatever that may happen next, I'll just take it and move on. Friendships requires effort from both willing parties, it's difficult to maintain... Whatever will be, would be.

Enough of foolish throwbacks and thoughts, they are all redundant. Everything is planned, that's how boring life is. No matter how much you want things to stay the same, it will never be according to your will. You just have to live with it. Spending alone time at home is good, you cook for yourself, bake and be happy like that. It's good enough.

To those (ask.fm cowards) who thinks that I bitch about my friends, hello please, I don't stoop to your level. Friends are called friends for a reason, when the friendship is broken, bitching is inevitable. Come on, tell me you don't then, I'd worship you. And no I don't feel jealous of other couples, I'm very happy with what I have, so instead you should be jealous of me.

Just random outburst thoughts of mine, thank you for reading. Set your priorities right, don't lose yourself trying to be someone else.

I'd be there, forever and always ♡
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Ugly pictures of food below, view with an open mind.