sry . maybe not .

Urgh , I'm all fucked up . I dunno wad I'm doing currently , did I make the correct choice ? Hopefully I fucking did uh . Wed .. Shud I or not ? Happy or simply not giving a damn . Uhh . I dunno anymore luh . I shud see what happens on wed then . Hope he's the same , me too . Please dun let anything turn out wrong again . DAMMIT . Uhhh . Omg , wad am I talking about now ._. I'm mad . Seriously . Goshhh . I feel bad too somehow , or maybe not . You lve me , yet I dun love you . Too bad uh . You cant do anything to make it come true . Cos , IT WONT . Maybe . I dunno luh aiyooo . Damn confused and pissed alrd . Haishh , how . WAD SHUD I DO , ANYBOBY PLEASE HELP ME . I'm desperate for help and talk now . By someone who understands me deep enough . Blehhhhh .

Imma bitch , I know that . I wont deny . 

Wish : Hope it lasts .

I'm not .

Urgh . FML . Do you have to care ? I don't think you should . Like I have cared about you idiot . So please just shut the fuck up and stop commenting okay ? Sucks . Nvm , shall not say anymore . Only waste my energy typing all those shyt to scold you . Idiot . Yeah so , fuck you . 
I guess I've nth much to blog about today ? My mind ish kinda blank now .

No CNY mood in S'pore . I swear .

This year's new year ish like 'HUH?' so fast uh . It sucks and I was bored to death at my grandma's hse . No one fucking talks to me , cos I'm the only girl there . All my cousins are GUYS and I don't have a sister or anything . Urgh . At least I have my own entertainments . P.S. Chelsea , you know what hohoh ;) Yeah , reunion dinner was damn awkward , people stare and me when I eat , thinking why I eat so little . They were like 'Wah , on diet uh.' I gave a smile and obviously not luh , it's just that the food doesn't suit my tongue LOL . Fyeah (Y) [Chelsea quoted] Spent the entire CNY eve and the half of the first day of CNY in S'pore damn boring , it's like killing me . You didn't reply me , fuck .
After that I went to JB , Malaysia ftw (Y) YAY , I still love Malaysia can , I grew up there :) heheh . Was in the car and I was so bored that I keep zilianing , my mum gave me that 'you nothing to do isit' face , hahah super funny . But I don't care , unless she could give me an Iphone so that I can play games but it's not possible man . Maybe yes , IN MY DREAMS . Pssshhh ._. HAHAHA (Y) My camera ish spammed with pics , I'm gonna upload just a few here , those that I like (Y) . I super love a rain drop close up , cos it's too awesome . Ohyeah , my 4 months old cousin is SUPER DUPER cuteeeee too heheh x) I sound like I'm a pedo , but I'm not . I don't like kids , but sometimes they are just so cute (':
I wore really screwed clothes this year , cos I have to many and I don't know which to choose. So , my mum picked for me , it's not really what I like but whatever , no one will see what I wear anyway .
I wish to keep this blog to just a few people close to me , but apparently , ALOT of ppl are reading it . I have no idea why , this blog ish boring , it's just a place where I just rant and crap. And , I need you to reply me idiot .

the lighting ish uber nice (Y) 

rain drops <3

cute right ! :)

-loves- i drank alot :x oops .

I'm mad x) yay (Y)

I held on to my phone for the whole day today , everytime it vibrates I feel so nervous . Because , I want it to be your reply . Nothing has changed over the years , for me , but wad about you ? I don't know and I don't want to ask . I'm too afraid that your answer will not be one that I wanted . Yeah , I love you , still . I had put you aside for these few years , but I shan't anymore . I want you back , so so much then before . Please ?

Fuck , I'm mad . I returned to that old crazy me . You made me like this , after appearing now and then in my mind . You made me love you again , even much more than before .

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby

Thinkin' 'bout everythin' we've been through

Maybe I've been goin' back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

You , I'm alright .

Felt so great like I've never been before . I'm okay , why would I not be ? As long as you're happy , everything is just so okay for me . I know , I really know that it would turn out like this . I have expected it , so don't worry . I'll just forget and move on with my life . There's a lot of more awesome things , friends and simply those that love me more . Thank you all for being there for me , hearing me crap and crap non-stop .


To the awesome people in my life :

Chelsea , thank you for being such a great great friend in my life . Since p4 till now , it has been so long but an awesome time . May our friendship last forever , I don't know my life would be without you there for me . -loves-

Dannica ,  thanks for all those times you have spent with me . Hearing me talk and talk non-stop , complaining all those things . You're such a great friend , willing to talk and comfort me (; So blessed to know you . Really really . -loves-

Sihui , I don't know if you'll see this but you're a really awesome friend that I'm so blessed to have (: I know I've been so annoying and immature cos I keep saying stupid stuff and crapping alot , thanks for listening ! -loves-

I realise I have a lot of broken sentences but , I'm too lazy to go change it . I'll leave it as it is . Life's gonna be better , so I'll shut up and move on for now . There's surely a lot more things that will help me forget this unhappiness in my heart currently . Forget the painful past , so you'll get a better one .

-hearts-

CNY ! ._.

Urgh . Today was , idk ._. Nvm I dunno how to say . But , I feel very weird in school alrd . People look at me like I'm some weirdo ? IDK . Yeah , I am lor . You happy ?

I feel super duper dumb today can ._. I brought camera without memory card to school , planning to spam pictures uh . But , it's dumb. Without tat memory card , your camera is jus a piece of metal . NVM , I'm a dumb girl . Pssshhh . CNY concert was making me wanna sleep , it's boring somehow . And it sucks partly because some trash memories jus flash through my mind . Urgh . Have to forget them , because they make my life so screwed up and messy . Hell yeah . You're some shyt , make me feel lik sleeping and not waking up anymore.

And , can your pictures stop appearing on my newsfeed ? >< I don't wanna noe how you are doing well in your new school and stop making me think about you . Urgh . -irritated-

Went around walking and had lunch with Dannica & Chelsea at popeyes heheh . Be jealous because they are awesome babes (; Chelsea went home early :( HAHAH but saw alot of ahems with Dannica :P heheh x) my eyes burn and melt alrd ! (: hohoh ~ BOO . Imma mad woman .

 Forget your bad memories, because that's the simplest way to stay happy. #viatumblr

heheh x) yuppyupp tat's all for now :)

Blehh .

I'm back ! (Y) hahah . 59 pageviews alrd ! :) but , who is reading my blog uh ._. Seriously . Haish , you want to read then go on bah . But , if you're someone who doesn't like me pls press the close button immediately . Thank you very much . Yeah .

Had a bad day ytd , today too . I cried like shyt . Not being able to do A-math qns ish just a freaking excuse . I'm really hurting so so so much inside , I know no one could help me . Cos it's smth tat is really personal . So yeah , don't ask me what happen so I'll fake a smile and tell you I'M ALRIGHT . Nothing can help me , my heart has to be dealt with . I'm asking God to help me , I prayed like I've nvr did before . Hope everything's gonna be alright soon . Really . Today wasn't really tat great either . I dun wan say anything /crossfingers/

I shouldn't have let you go , I regret really . Ish IP really tat good ? Why did you go ? Come back . Like how you were once so close to me .

Aiya . My laobu say my hair too long . Got meh ._. No lor (Y) 

silentscream .

omg . what is this .

I dunno wad you wan . I dunno wad you mean . Why are you doing this to me ? Fuck you , it's hurting like a shyt only . Sometimes I wan you to disappear , but I wan you to stay now . Cos I'll be so alone . But yet , I dun need you to pity me . You can go ,do wadever you wan . Thank you veh much for fucking off .

Urgh . 52 pageviews . Like seriously , who's reading my blog ? I kept it so well cos I only told you person man . Unless you stalk my facebook info page uh . There's nth to see here , not for those whom I wont wan my blog to be read by . Yeah . Training today , not tat bad I suppose ? Hmmm. Bio test tmr , gonna study lik NOW . Urgh . So irritating .

baby , we're like a time bomb ~

MISUNDERSTANDING ? no.

I think my tears now can form a river inside me now , tears are just flowing back into me because I don't want to show how sad I am . No one would give a damn to care uh . Yeah , so yes I'm something to entertain you when you needed someone there for you ? What kind of person are you seriously ._. My heart just freaking scattered again . Yes , lucky I wasn't that dumb to fall for it . Which , mostly others would . You're way too nice baby and I feels so damn fake now . Thank you for those fake memories ? Urgh . I gonna get over and done with . I don't see the point of it either . Yeah ._. Too bad . More people are there for me , you're just a passer-by . Fuck off . So, at least there's something I can thank you for uh . So what ? I guess I'm gonna be thrown into the rubbish bin because I'm no longer any use ? Fine . I'll just forget soon . Really soon .

Today had an awesome afternoon :) those two people are just so sweet ;) me jelly alrd uh . Nvm . Hahaha x) Went home with Dannica and FC . Haha crap-talking are just too awesome to describe .

I'm gonna pray , because I need strength once again . I was too vulnerable .

PINK ish SUPER-LOVED.

omg. PINK shirt ! <3

(Y) awesome day today at Bugis uh ! heheh x) Shuai guys everywhere . Hohoho . Why am I becoming like Chelsea & Dannica ? :P omg. I'm mad alrd . 

Dear Chelsea & Dannica, aiyo see luh . Why you all go influence me ? :( heheh . Just kidding :))

There's school tmr . Hell yeah . I feel super cui sia ._. I dun see wad's the point . School , school and more SCHOOL . Go away man ~ Urgh . Amaths ish getting on my nerves , I cant seem to recognize you right after Amaths lesson . Cos , idgaf . Mehh ._. Hope everything's gonna go well tmr . Uhh , height and weight . SHYT . Imma pig .    

-loves-

Like this picture much (Y) HAHAHA . Idk why . 

Okay , I'm super random now . And , I feel so great (Y) HAHAH . Finally told someone and it feels awesome . Awesomest ish in the air , baby ~ I'm too crazy liao YAY . Life's getting awesomer , I think . Oh . I feel like breaking that promise :( Can I ? I want to . It's really like so killing me . omg. I have to stop thinking luh . Hehehe x) If not , I will just go mad and return to how I was last time (; Hell yeah .

Okay , I'm paranoid now . Who ish reading my blog ? Like seriously . 38 pageviews ._. Scaryy . And , what's with the MINDFUCK thing on fb ? It's freaking me out . Seriously . 

Urgh . I don't want to . Really .

I'm dumb .

I stayed in class in the morning to do my Amath , my brain feels so dead already . A simple question I have to think and do for a thousand years but yeah , I will work hard .

CCA showcase . Kinda good I think . At least , I didn't screw up because I had a bad bad day man ._. But you really is such a bad example . You talk like as if there were swords flying out . Mean until like an ass . You should stop pms-ing and wash your mouth with lots of soap to make it feel nicer .

Today was such a messy day , it kept on repeating in my mind . The things yesterday . I feel like a dumb ass now thinking back , I'm just deceiving myself that it was true . But I know today , it wasn't . The things you said were just some shyt that I just fell for . It sucks . It feels like hell inside of me now , I feel like taking an eraser to wipe everything in my memory away . I want a new one , one without all these shyt . Liar , may your pants be on fire man . I feel kinda pawn used , in a chess game . But I don't care anymore . So what is real and what is not ? This seriously sucks .

STOP IT .

It's not that way, so please don't misunderstand . I'm serious, it feels so suckish to like see the person in front of you gossiping about something right in front of my eyes . It feels very bad uh . I don't know you're looking at me like that eh, I didn't do anything wad . You're too sensitive I suppose . Yeah, today was screwed and awkward uh . So many people around for wad, very nice to see meh . LOL .

I have been feeling so stressed recently, I can sense O levels coming already . I have to give in my very best, giving my fullest attention and the best shot this year for my studies . Failed my book test already, can't afford to fail another . -emostate- But through this few days, I really thank God for each day, filling me with such a joy in class although things that are taught that so tough that I felt like crying. But, God was really assuring me that everything's gonna be okay (; Thank you God, for everything You have done for a sinner like me .

Sometimes I feel so screwed, I'm confused . What am I doing ? I really don't know . But life is much more interesting this way, ups and downs everyday .

ASDFGHJKL.

Omg. Firstly, I don't know what happened to me today. I feel so messed up, confused and simply emotional. My tears were rolling back into my eyes, I didn't want to show my emotions. If not, I'll look like some dumb girl crying till her eyes turn red. asdfghjkl. Enough of all these crap, seriously. I'm gonna shut my ears already. IDGAF.

Yeah, and I know that I was. Maybe. But, it's really hard to make it ? Like I can't just go out without a proper excuse. My mother won't believe. I'll change definitely, because I know it's important. It's just that I need time. I was almost wavered, tiredness stopped me from going there, but I made that effort to go when I could just not go. I can, why not ? That's because I know the importance of it, and we will not fail. Believe please, we can do it. The current solution is just like pulling our moral down. I'm very serious. We know we can't go that far, but we would press on so much. Have FAITH in us. Thank you.

It's contradicting,  so so much. I'm gonna forget everything tonight. I really should and just start a brand new day tomorrow. Trusting in God, for He holds our tomorrow.

“ When you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. 

iloveyou.

Clearly confused.

Went out like around 12plus today. Man, I wanna go church go badly but I have to go out and buy CNY clothes. Why not on sat ? But just on sun ? It sucks man ._. Seriously. Walked and walked, bought lots of clothes. But, I'm not happy like how I used to in the past. I feel empty, very very empty. Nothing can seem to fill me, only God's love can. Lord, I need you to accompany me. Even with lots of friends that care for me alot, I need You more, more than before. 

I know you saw me, why did you avoid me ? Like you did last time. Why ? 

My life's screwed now. Hell yeah. What am I doing ? I have to wake up already.

You're just so awesome,spending a long long time talking to me. I'm such a boring person yet you didn't mind at all. But you're so near yet so far. 

Blogger.

Decided to create this blog, because I'm starting to dislike Tumblr already uh. So many people can read all my things just after clicking the ''Follow'' button yeah ? I hate it, it's like I have a limit to whatever I'll be posting because I'll just getting into trouble if they misunderstood my post on tumblr. This blog, shall be somewhere that I can just rant out everything, my screwed life and sometimes my awesome life, Yeah, I'm like some crazy girl, on a rollercoaster. Up and downs everyday.