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Korean Food again today #fatdieme #brokedieme
Feeling happy because I finally satisfied my craving after so long (okay, quite long only). I would definitely recommend the Rice Cakes at Su Superstar Korean Cuisine at SCAPE, it's too good to give it a miss. There are other dishes that are also quite good (but more expensive HAHAH)

Prices: Rice Cakes - $5.50
            Side Dish - $1.10
Subtotal: $6.60 (cheap until cannot!!!)

Self-control, I did it (: 

♡ ♤ ♧ ◇

Went out today to get my shoes and to have my treat hehehe (; I had McDonald breakfast for the first part of my treat and then second part was a new kind of ramen (the soup is black/grey-ish in colour) But, I still think that Ajisen is the best though, cheaper too HAHA. And yeah, I bought my black doll boots kind of shoes finally after much consideration. But this time it's not me paying HAHAHAH.

I'm planning to hang out with my closer friends from AHS from next week onwards after their promos HAHAH. I'm pretty sure I'll be happier and at ease, at least we've known each other for a couple of years and we've learnt how to appreciate and adapt to each others' flaws. I guess being friends isn't as easy as it seems, it needs a lot of time, the willingness to compromise and accept. I guess, being sensitive to each other's feelings and point of view is most crucial.

In every friendship, there's bound to be some unhappiness arising sometimes. Choosing the right way to deal with it is the best thing to do, I'm glad I've not done anything absurd so far. I'm thankful for friends, because you can never solely depend on one friend. Everyone helps you in different aspects of your mind, something that I always keep in mind. Good or bad, it'll benefit you some way or another.

Life was better previously, I want to return to then. I was happier and more oblivious to everything.

275 days, 90 more days 😊💗

boring boring boring

I'm so in need of cash and yeah, no cash reward from my parents (if they did the sun will rise from the west). Meh, I've kinda bought alot of things but I'm still not contented. I need alot more clothes and tonnes more clothes to be throw away from my cupboard.

So far, I bought 2 dresses, 3 tops, 1 pants and 1 necklace which adds up to like.... $86 (picture below) My mum did pay like a small portion of it but the rest I had to pay with my savings. I DO NOT have allowance during the holidays. It's really bad when your holiday is 5 weeks long and you need to transform your entire wardrobe. Meh.

I guessed I felt alot better today after ranting some thoughts (which I've kept for very long) to my mum. Yeah, no one's perfect. Actually, no matter how close or distant a person is to me, I spot flaws like real fast. It's just that I'm used to bottling up everything and I guess no one can ever tell when I'm angry. Maybe that's a good thing too. I'm just too sensitive when it comes to words and action.. So confused now, shall continue this post another day.

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So yeah, BBQ at Chalet with L4 today. I guess it was alright just felt a little uneasy here and there. Maybe I'm really showing it too much, but I cannot help it... Okay it's over. Before that I kind of shopped at Bugis and bought a bag for myself, quite a good deal. But I'm quite broke, I need the rest of my money back T_T Pay me back soon guys ); I very money face, haish.. Perks of being low on cash I guess, sucks much. I'm not myself today. Really no mood. So many injuries today too, not a good day. 👉👈

Sometimes I hate myself for acting this way, I have to put on a strong front to cover up my inner feelings. I have no rights to feel that way but I just can't help it. I better get all my shyt together, what's the point of feeling that way. I need to just pick myself up and continue.

Just a short update.. But, stay tune!

wishes upon a ★ (updated)

I've been sleeping and snacking alot, so that explains why I'm back to 50kg from 48kg like last week or something. Well I was happy for that few days (maybe my weighing scale cheated me) and I ate alot happily. Now I havw to control again, fml HAHA. So yeah I've decided to have a post on my wishlist/shopping list -hinthint- Okay I'm just kidding, I'll get them on my own...soon HAHAH.

Let's start...⇩

Wishlist/Shopping list for 2014/2015:
(I'll attach pictures later too hehe)

1. Polariod Camera (getting the cheapest possible) with Cath Kidston design films

2. Superga Shoes (black or maroon)

3. Hype Bag (black or crystal one)

4. Floral Dress (particularly this navy one)

5. Aztec/Floral print bandage or skater skirt

6. Socks (maybe Superman ones, cute much) ✔

7. Nail Polish (no more pink ones meh but blue ones) ✔

8. Converse High-cut shoes

9. Flutter spaghetti tops (that can actually fit me)

\\Now for like wishes, like yeah wishes not items

10. Spending Christmas and Boxing day with ♥ (really hope so hehehe)

11. Better friendships (more friends I can trust I guess)

who will my soulmate be?

can I stop eating..?

(I couldn't think of a title)

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm making the correct choices in life, trusting the correct people or even investing my time on correct people and things. I doubt myself a lot, I guess. Late at night, insecurities really eat you up, a little everyday. All the silly things you've done before just BAM, appears again and re-enacts in your head. You'll wonder if people really apreciates you for who you are or probably  just making do with you. I hate myself for thinking this way but I can't help it. I'm just not good enough.

Everyone always hope that they could rewind time to make things right and all, but I would rather fast forward. It's human nature, or probably the society, you will never always be happy. When things goes right for you, setbacks comes together in a package. Life is full of ups and downs, when there's ups and downs it's life.

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

The song that always expresses my feelings so well, in every aspect. Well I guess I'm a pitiful soul expressing my thoughts on my blog (no need you to pity me) but yeah, just needed a place to write everything out. Telling everyone I'm okay will be good, convincing myself would suffice. Yeah, I'm okay. Living on is such a chore, but that's probably the best thing I could do. I don't want to have any regrets.

敢爱就要敢狠，
今生就只一次，
不该留下遗憾,
我快乐就好了。

meh.

So, yesterday I dragged myself out of bed at like 6.10 a.m. on a SATURDAY. Yes, for cip hours. Funny how when you're in poly you still need to do community involvement programmes. But oh wells, it's something that I really enjoy. I used to think that in the future I'll be a Psychiatrist or a Social Worker to reach out to the older adults in the community. I guess that little dream of mine is still alive in me HAHA. Yes it's weird, I don't look like those social worker type but maybe secretly I am.

I guess everything's better yesterday, I mean how I felt towards everyone, hmmm yeah. It was really alot better than the previous few weeks when everyone was behaving differently, or maybe I was being cranky too haha. But on the bright side, I'll feeling all better now. Somehow, it's quite bad too, my shopping impulse is back again. And this time, looking at all the things I buy. It's rather different.  Judged for changing again? Before you say anything, do you want to stay the same forever? Change is inevitable okay.

Fucked up family I have. Sometimes I really wonder if I am valued or someone from another  family is.

Don't miss me when I'm gone.

"我那牵着你的手也只剩你紧紧握着..."
我依然还是紧紧握着, 直到永远。
或许，等待也是一种幸福 ♡

但是如果这段爱情成了你的负担，我会毫不犹豫放你走的。

Sometimes it's really good when you have a shopping buddy who appreciates the same style as you instead of judging your judgements (woah, that play of words though). I'm glad I've found mine.

Side note, I hate criticism. No matter who you are.

such a fuss.

So, what's next would be the release of Semester Results. Really fear that in the end, it'll be disappointments even after working hard.. But I didn't put in full effort, was a little too complacent this time round. Will what I fear happen again this time? Scenes of that particular incident kept replaying in my head, but yet I don't have any friend close enough to say it out. I guess, trusting someone isn't easy. Or maybe sometimes when you start trusting, they do something that disappoint you, maybe even shun away from you. Probably, it's just me, it's difficult to trust. Having too many of you tires me out sometimes. Just maybe. 友谊就像多角恋情, 越多越乱. Well, indeed. I probably really need that 6 weeks of break. 

 Thinking about everything, deep down inside maybe I'm just not used to everyone, everything I have been dealing with for rather long? Life is full of adaptation and competition to emerge as the best suited in this world. Animals go through that, so do Humans. Nothing makes us more superior, maybe knowledge. But hey, the brain named itself. So are we really who we think we are? Or maybe it's our own imaginations. Everything that happens every single day, does it really exist? We don't even know. We're just plainly pathetic souls.

 We only live once, I guess we just had to make the best out of everyday. We never know when we will be gone for good actually. Love wholeheartedly, yet again life is always tied down by our own emotions. Emotion is primarily about nothing and much of it remains about nothing to the end. We determine how far we go in life, nobody else. I have to stop living to fit into people's perfect list, maybe being myself is the best.

 Being alone is good, but I hate the feeling of loneliness. 

I'm not a perfect person 

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

Wishing I could rewind to months ago, when it was just you and me.

Having new people in your life requires lots of adaptations which I can't do that well in. They shouldn't be the main people in your life, your family and loved ones should be.

Pardon my conflicted mind.
254 ♥ ∞

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Well, things have been on the down side recently. Stress for Semestral Exams and all just aggravate things here and there. Have been really short tempted, getting frustrated at the slightest things.

Being competitive isn't that good after all, everyone's gonna go, "WOW, you don't know this?" It's tired to even do relatively well, you have to constantly drain yourself out for the smallest things. How good will it be if I could just put things aside and just let it be. No, I know I can't. At the end of the day, my results determine my future.

How silly can that get, life is just full of examinations and expectations. Everyone just have to live with it.

Insecurities acting up real badly, maybe I'll end up pushing important people away. Again. Why do I always have to be like this all the time?

On a side note, end of examinations tomorrow! Will it be the start of sleepless nights again? Who knows...

And, I miss you ): ♡

Study date previously: